One lifetime…is not enough time.

Good end of January folk. It’s been a while since I’ve been writing. And I’ve taken a nice, long break, but it is now time to get working.

Expectation inflation – This is what happens when I seem to expect everything to be at an absurdly (to others) standard and always become annoyed when nothing lives up to my expectation.

I don’t know if it’s just me, or if it’s a product of the University Life: being thrown into such a condensed program that there is quite literally no time for anything else, no excuses, being exposed to the workplace of professionals, where mistakes and errors are indecently frowned upon. And when others seem not to be on the same page as me, sometimes it takes an effort to step back and reconcile to the context.

Maybe this is just me, but maybe it’s not only me.

More and more frequently, I trudge along the daily grind of life, and more and more of the little things get to me. I expect uncompromising reliability in the products I buy — but things seem to break sooner and sooner with every passing generation and new release. Products I buy now, a Logitech headset, and a Logitech mouse, compared with their respective predecessors from three years ago, are already problematic after a month… (right out of the box for the mouse). Even the build quality of cars, electronics, houses…. They don’t last as long as they used to.

Of course, this could always be a product of the fact that when I was younger, I cared less about these things.

I have come to expect no-nonsense from my friends, and when there is, it is usually a half and half chance whether or not I will get annoyed.  I expect common courtesies, respect, and understanding. And though the pretense and context of our conversations are generally very informal, (i.e. Skype Conversation) the standard of quality I expect does not ever really change. I mean, at the same time, I understand a need for an argument here and there… it means people are communicating… but unnecessary drama and disagreement really stresses everything for everyone.

I suppose in one sense, it’s harder… being in an online chatting environment, half the time, you can’t actually tell another person’s true tone. And I know this… because with serious matters, one should never discuss with people over instant messaging… at least… now I know. It’s easier to sense another person’s true emotion, and work with it, instead of either, or both parties, trying to hide everything behind a string of words.

I just feel that there is so little time in life. So many things that I’ve learned that I don’t know; so much content posted online that would take hundreds of lifetimes to view. There are so many things to do, places to visit, sights to see, that I don’t want to waste my time dealing with people who can’t treat another person fairly, who can’t treat another person with respect.

It seems my life is all ready written before me. Once school is done, and work comes along, when all my friends are graduated and off to their own places, there won’t be time for much left over. It’ll be hard to arrange reunions. Even worse, one day if I’ll have kids, they’ll take up time, and any activity/journey/expedition/adventure that I ever wanted to go on… won’t happen for another twenty years. And by that time, we’ll generally be too old to be adventurous any more… Unless of course… I turn out like Carl Fredricton

So please forgive me sometimes, when my patience is short, and I feel you’re wasting my time. I know I waste a lot of time too, but… so does everyone. All I ask is that… when I don’t want time wasted, or things disappointing me… that we get along, so we can all concert our efforts to enjoy the infintessimally small fraction of existence that we can experience in our lifetime.

This is life.

 I wonder if this makes me mature, or rather, immature. I may definitely not be as open minded as I once was… either that, or my expectations and standards have grown almost “exponentially.”

Maybe this makes me more humble, this subtle thought process… but generally, it’s more to seek understanding.


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